For my daily handful of random blog visitors, you will see that I haven’t written in a while. Was it the Blizzard of 2011, or the February flu doldrums, or challenging times at home, or all of it? I don’t know. Quite frankly, February has been a blur and I’m grateful that it’s almost over. Life came on so hard that I just didn’t have anything left to say that wouldn’t have come out as a complaint. And I didn’t want to be perceived as a complainer. I think us mommies walk a fine line between complaining and enduring. I often asked myself, what is my blog’s purpose, again? I found myself editing what I wanted to write about. It’s just been a month where every possible blog topic would have involved a personal affront to someone close to me – maybe cathartic for me, but not necessarily a productive contribution to the blogosphere. (Funny side note: My blogging software is underlining the word “blogosphere” as a non-existent word). I also began to suspect that my January burst of blogging energy had taken all of the wind out of my sails, already, and that I might run out of topics. I started seeing repeating patterns and I didn’t want to be redundant. After all, I don’t intend this blog to be a journal, but rather a place to hone in on what’s hiding behind the mask of motherhood, to unveil truths that rise to the surface and form a general theme.
But enough of what this blog is about – after all, here I am, writing again. I think it’s because I’m standing at the threshold of a new phase in my life as a mother. Our youngest children are approaching 3, our oldest 4, and new options are presenting themselves. For example, it’s starting to feel absolutely acceptable to picture our 4-year old attending preschool full-day – just because. Just because it would offer her excellent learning and socialization opportunities. And because she really wants to, and because her best friend is a “lunch-buncher”. It’s starting to feel unnecessary to hire a nanny. Not because I don’t like nannies – I’ve only had great experiences. But I feel that our kids’ preschool is the place to get more of that childcare now. It’s starting to feel more acceptable to let them watch a little more TV. We’re past that magical age of 2 before which all TV is allegedly bad. It’s feeling more acceptable to let them play in the backyard and keep an eye on them through the kitchen window, instead of going outside with them and hovering. It’s feeling more acceptable to explain why mommy needs a break, and why we all need a break in the day. It’s becoming acceptable (or I simply have no other choice than) to say goodbye to our daughter’s nap and institute quiet time where mommy and daughter work alongside each other, on individual tasks. It feels like there are simply more options.
Our children’s developments aside, I am also developing within and beyond my role as a mother. I am ready to launch my own business as a professional life coach – a dream I’ve had for a long time. The universe is guiding me ever so wisely, it’s really quite perfect. Each step forward has occurred at just the right time, to just the right extent, I wouldn’t have wanted to arrive here any other way. I have officially launched Cadeau Coaching, my venture in professional life coaching, and I have my first client. My very first session was magical – even my husband said I was still glowing at the end of the day. I still have fears and doubts, but I also feel how right it is, and I’m excited to no end.
One of our boys makes the same request of us several times a day: “I wanna build a big building!” He loves constructing Duplo palaces. I feel like I’ve placed the first few pieces on the Lego base board, and the sky’s the limit from here. And it can be different, new, and exciting each day.